when did it end, my childhood, when did it slip away from me?
when did the hours of carefree meandering slip through my fingers
just not long ago, i pressed myself against walls or pillars
nimbly fitting into the tight space behind an almirah
or under a dusty staircase, heartbeat thumping against my chest
waiting for a playmate - usually a cousin or a friend
to out me from my ingenious hiding spot
but hoping someone else would be caught before me
so that i walk around with the pride of outsmarting them all
when did it end, the simple moments of my summer vacations
spent playing games 8 hours a day, making new friends
& new memories, ruining new clothes with cracker holes
and drops of colourful deliciousness that inevitably trickled down my chin
into the fabric of my clothes, a masterpiece of colours
some days, it was the glorious yellow of a ripened mango,
or the deep dark brown of chocolate ice cream that rivalled my mother’s washing
on few others, trails of rose milk left my clothes perpetually blushing
when did it leave, my days of joy, peace & abundant freedom
when summer meant vacation - a break from school,
from teachers, homework & assignments
guaranteeing weeks of utter freedom,
filled to the brim with dreams of all play & no work
of seeing new places, trying out new food, learning new tricks
picking up new hobbies, habits, friends & enemies
of cycling around town as if i owned the sky, earth & everything in between
a time when tan lines were signs of a life having been lived
of exploration & adventure, not aging & skin cancer
where did it all go?
when did i grow up?
how do i go back, to those sweet days before sour sixteen
back to my summer days in the swimming pool
where i was surrounded by people
who wouldn’t let me drown
or flail about miserably on my own?
Amazing 🤍🤍
🥺